Jack In The Fruitcake

This has to be one of the most out of sight fruitcake recipes around!

Ingredients:

1 C water
1 C sugar
4 large eggs
2 C dried fruit
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 C brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 bottle Jack Daniel Black Label Whiskey


Preparation:

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, Add 1 cup of butter in bowl and beat till fluffy, adding sugar. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixerer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turnerer. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the hell likes druitcake anyway......